Hotels in China
We were pretty lucky with our hotels; our tour manager had checked us into some pretty “alright” places. If we were in the UK we would have probably complained, but since they all had a bog that you sit on not squat on, it was all happy days! We stayed at a place in Beijing for 3-4 nights and it was pretty cool. Apart from the fact that the beds were basically just a sheet of reinforced plywood with a bed sheet on. There was a nice business centre downstairs which turned out to be one computer with a bunch of hamsters powering the world’s slowest internet. We were told to be careful what we were searching too as the government may be watching. But I figured even government officials like “BangBros”. Speaking of which… we found during the course of our stay in China that places that are lit up red mean brothels.
At the bottom of the stairs in the corridor there was a room glowing pink! After 3 days of deliberation we plucked up the courage to go visit the “brothel” only to find it was a Karaoke bar. I guess that’s what you call FML.
The first day I arrived in China, I stepped straight off the plane, through some of the worlds “strictest” customs, who just greeted us with a smile and didn’t even search in my massive guitar case that could have easily have been filled with explosives and straight into a taxi.
It didn’t take me long to realize who the real terrorists in China are! Taxi drivers! I would be prepared to put my balls on the line here and say that Chinese taxi drivers must be the single highest killers of any terrorist organization! There is no Al Queda here… Just “Al Toyota”. The reason for this is because they seem to think there are no rules on the road. Undertake, Overtake, weave in behind massive trucks whilst constantly beeping your horn and hanging your hand out the window to flick the ash from your cigarette. I can honestly say I don’t think I had ever been so scared in my life, I also don’t think it was a great idea wearing a white shirt when the seatbelt had seemingly not been used since its manufacture. I looked a right tit with a big brown seatbelt stenciled across me! Some weird folk were driving round too; I could have sworn I saw Quasimodo sat in McDonalds drive thru, looks like they had sent him into “Bay 2” to wait for his order. I bet he had the hump!!
This week i am going to be reporting my findings of my trip to China from 2 years ago.
Richard Davis
